The mother who didn`t let her past ruin her future

By 20.09.2019Blog

A child`s appearance is a real blessing for every family – an unforgettable event which brings unparalleled emotions. Nevertheless, sometimes it is connected with worries, doubts and…fear. This is the case in the family of Polya and Zhivko. Together with her husband, they often fight and this is inevitably reflecting their little son Evgeni. The boy has emotional and behaviorist specifics, he often acts aggressively and self-aggressively , communicating with him is hard and the rules in the family are rather defined by the needs and wishes of the child.

 

 

 

Polya came to us with the request to support her in improving her communication and parenting skills so that she will manage better at raising her son.

 

Individual sessions with her in which sometimes her husband took part started with psychologist from our Community Support Center ”St.Sofia” Katerina Kovacheva. We researched the family history as well as the stages of in the development of the relations between the couple.  With the help of Katerina Kovacheva  the parents learned how to divide the responsibilities and what is the role of each member of the family. We intensively worked with Polya in order to overcome her past traumas.

 

The expected second child had brought out painful memories. Thirteen of her childhood years she spent in institution deprived from emotional support, care and security. The life in there deprived Polya from confidence in herself, from skills to manage different life situations and challenges. She rarely contacted her mother. All of this lead to difficulties in communication with people around her and in doubt of her own abilities to raise another child. The problematic relations with her son Evgeni increased these fears. And so, the expectation of another child turned into agony threatening to lead to abandoning the child.

 

 

Katerina Kovacheva, psychologyst at the Community support center “St.Sofia”

Together we decided that it would be useful for Poly and her husband to go through our educational course “Parent skills” and “First care for the newborn”. Polya and Zhivko were introduced to main subjects connected to raising the expected baby – hygiene, healthy feeding and the need of gymnastic.  Their communication with Evgeni improved. Day after day, Polya felt more confident in her abilities. And ready to welcome her second child with all the love she is capable of.

 

The end of this story is happy. Polya gave birth to a healthy baby girl – Kristina. Together with her husband Zhivko they look after their little baby with love. And the doubts whether Polya will be a good mother are a distant memory.